...which is not a fish

Friday, April 27, 2007

Is that a bell tolling?

Karma can be a real bitch sometimes. I was driving home one night and there was this guy tailgating me and using his highbeams all along the freeway entrance. He finally zipped out and went flying down the road.

A bit later, I was passing an exit and his car was upside down in the ditch. Yes, emergency crews were already there (its fairly close to a hospital).

Our young taraxacum officiale looserius has been having a bad week.

To wit:

  • foreclosure of the last property;
  • car gets vandalized, stereo and sub ripped out;
  • oh, and the car was not insured - cancelled due to non-payment;
  • eviction notice from the "landlord" saying he needs to pay two months of back "rent" and utilities, and prepay two more months "rent"

Rob made a really good comment today:

Damn criminals. Dontcha just hate it when they do illegal things and end up costing you money?

That, dandelion, is karma.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Calling all haterZ

You are being counted! Sign up once and once only, else the wrath of Stephanie J. and her jeep shall be yours to experience!

Oh and since Steph is conducting a scientific experiment, feel free to respond to others' comments here, in the comments.

(See, Nigel isn't the only one who tries to pimp traffic!)


Sunday, April 22, 2007

Taraxacum Officiale Galinalis

Note from author: while the taraxacum officiale galinalis is associated with the taraxacum officiale looserius it is unclear as to the former's specific role, preferences and behaviours. What is in this article has been gleaned from various sources, many of which are incomplete at best, and more often than not, vague.


The taraxacum officiale galinalis is a reclusive species, preferring to stay out of the limelight and work in the background. This species seems to be quite sensitive, and once experiencing a bad episode (or possibly an episode that does not develop in the way initially expected) tends to disassociate from that type of activity.


Not much is known about the diet of the taraxacum officiale galinalis, however it can be assumed that it is similar to that of the taraxacum officiale looserius. It is unknown whether this species consumes wheatgrass, or whether the diet is vegan, semivegan, vegetarian or more omnivorous in nature. However because of the amount of time spent with the t. officiale looserius the assumption of similar diets is not unreasonable.


As noted above, the t. officiale galinalis is reclusive and does not enjoy activities that it cannot control. Unlike the t. officiale looserius however, the t. officiale galinalis is somewhat more successful in setting and sticking to goals; as a result of a goal set last year, the t. officiale galinalis can be called an "early riser"; the t. officiale looserius had a similar goal, but only had "very marginal success."

From time to time, the t. officiale galinalis will take a leadership role. An initial attempt was made as a sort of project manager on a housing rehab that did not go well. The t. officiale galinalis then, apparently, removed herself from any other "sweet deals."

More recently, the t. officiale looserius drafted the t. officiale galinalis to help him comply with a city ordinance to drain and clean a pool that he had left to sit over the winter, uncovered. When the pair arrived at the site, reports indicate other inhabitants of the area offered to help deal with the pool and the various species that inhabit it now. The same report indicates the t. officiale galinalis convinced the t. officiale looserius not to accept the assistance.

From this behaviour, it is unclear as to which actually wears the pants in the relationship. It is clear the t. officiale galinalis becomes upset from time to time with the t. officiale looserius and this author hypothesizes that it is at these points in time she takes the lead.

It should be noted, this is only one take of the t. officiale galinalis' behaviour. The other take is that she is deeply involved in the t. officiale looserius' "sweet deals" - as evidenced by a spreadsheet originally published in January 2007 by the t. officiale looserius.


As with the t. officiale looserius, the t. officiale galinalis should be handled with kid gloves. While knowledge of behaviour is limited, it can be stated with a relative degree of safety that the combination of the t. officiale looserius and the t. officiale galinalis is quite dangerous. Whether they are working together, or they separate business and pleasure is small matter. The end result is the same.

While the t. officiale looserius is reclusive, it should be noted that when upset, she can be assuaged with small gifts and small amounts of brightly coloured flowers, particularly roses.

Please leave a comment for any changes or additions.

Friday, April 20, 2007


Copy your comments for the Taraxacum Officiale Looserius in the comments section here, if you like.

Monday, April 16, 2007

On Democracy

A rather wise man once said that democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.

I would qualify that - liberal democracy is probably the worst form, except for all the others. Liberal democracy means that everyone is treated the same, and is predicated on certain thoughts.

First, everyone is treated the same, because everyone is the same in abilities; liberal democracy, in its fundamental form, ignores difference. Worse, it puts those who simply are not able at the mercy of those who might take advantage of them simply because they can.

Core to this idea is the rule of law. Everyone is treated the same in the eyes of the law, depending on the type and severity of crime they commit. In other words, someone who commits mortgage fraud will be treated much differently than someone who participates in a murder, or say, genocide.

In any case, the difference between these crimes must be taken into account. Ultimately, however, both crimes can be equally detrimental.

For example, say there's a housing bubble caused the the ease of which mortgages and loans are obtained - the temptation for many is too much to avoid acquiring properties to fix 'n flip. The housing bubble results in many being priced out of housing which they would otherwise be able to afford in a "normal" economy. Or, someone who didn't commit mortgage fraud can't keep up with inflating payments and suddenly finds him-/herself homeless due to foreclosure by a lender.

The problem with liberal democracy is that, over time, people have come to take their freedoms for granted, and have forgotten that, with freedom comes responsibility. If you acquire a mortgage or 10 fraudulently, you have a responsibility to pay those back. Likewise, if you murder someone, you have a responsibility to pay for that crime. The cost of that responsibility is based on the law of the day.

So the question is, should those who commit crimes be punished to the fullest extent of the law? This author would say yes, with a caveat: due process must be followed. The rule of law is paramount in any democratic society, and when we lose the rule of law, we lose everything. This is what happened with some of the most atrocious crimes against humanity in history: the rule of law was flouted in that those who seized power (whether legally or illegally) bent the law to their own ends.

And this is where liberal democracy fails its citizens: it does not question the rule of law when the law itself is morally reprehensible.

However, equating mortgage fraud with murder, or say, genocide, is not appropriate either. And when this is done, it devalues the importance of the more serious crime.

A second principle of liberal democracy is the idea of privacy. Privacy is fundamentally important especially in relation to the rule of law. Privacy ensures that the tenet of "innocent until proven guilty" can be upheld. Like other tenets of liberal democracy, privacy is also taken for granted, and it is becoming clear that the individual must take certain steps, indeed has a certain responsibility to the self, to keep that privacy, if it is valued.

The point it, democracy without acknowledging responsibility is destined to fail.

So my question to you: is someone who flaunts his allegedly illegal activities in a public forum denied the due process of the rule of law?

A further question: should this person be held for all that he says/does/writes in a public forum?

Open for discussion.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Taraxacum Officiale Looserius


The taraxacum officiale looserius was transplanted from Eastern Europe to the United States in the mid-1990s, and currently resides in the Sacramento, California. He has also been spotted in Salt Lake City, Utah where he met with species 2759. The taraxacum officiale looserius was seen briefly in New Mexico in 2006, and had concerns in Texas, although he has never been seen there.


The taraxacum officiale looserius subsists on a semivegan diet that consists of fruits, vegetables, soy milk, organic beef, fish and seafood. He has been known to frequent In-n-Out Burger, Macaroni Grill and Jamba Juice, where he drinks carrot juice because it is fresh-squeezed, and does wheatgrass shots (as a digestive aid that helps clean out the lower intestines). He has claimed not to drink in the past, but visual documentation of a meal at McGrath's Fish House indicates he enjoys the occasional beer. The problem with this diet is that it often results in gas, expelled in the form of blog entries.


The taraxacum officiale looserius is behaviourally inconsistent; this can be frustrating to those who do not understand his thought process. Additionally, the taraxacum officiale looserius is a sensitive species and does not take well to criticism. Species 2759 has taken up a protector role in relation to the taraxacum officiale looserius; critics should be warned that any criticism that is not constructive will be ignored or deleted by both species. The taraxacum officiale looserius often tends to leap before he looks and has paid the price for this in the form of an inital $2.2 million (USD) in debt (see "Past Times" below). There also seems to be a bit of a miscomprehension between the idea of "income" vs. "financing" vs. "loans" vs "credit": the taraxacum officiale looserius tends to treat all of these equally and believes cash is cash (and credit is cash), regardless of the source.


The taraxacum officiale looserius is continually on the lookout for "sweet deals" that will provide passive income in order that he may have Jamba Juice and Starbucks whenever he wants. In the past, thinking these "sweet deals" would be easily found in real estate, and bought several properties in various states in a short time - reports are that he bought 8 in 8 months. Several of these properties required fixing/renovating before they could be flipped, however due to the lack of appropriate behaviour (i.e. - making sure the renovations were completed in a timely manner and effectively managing the budget for these properties), the changes were never completed and six of the houses have been foreclosed upon. The taraxacum officiale looserius is currently in "lender-ignore mode" except for one. This lender did receive a payment, but the taraxacum officiale looserius was out of funds for it and had to ask for donations in return for performing tricks (see "dancing monkey"). The taraxacum officiale looserius has a very high entertainment value and continually refuses to learn from his experiences. While some may call "looking before you leap" common sense, this author would remind those people that common sense is not all that common. What experience allows is the development of judgment. This requires, of course, that after an experience a person sit down and think about what happened and how it could have been done better, then implementing these changes later on. The taraxacum officiale looserius has not demonstrated this ability.

In conjunction with his ongoing search for "sweet deals", the taraxacum officiale looserius often gets others to "bird-dog" deals for him.

Care and Feeding

The taraxacum officiale looserius is a sensitive, impulsive sort and should be treated with kid gloves. At any rate, you should wear the kid gloves as handling may leave some marks. The mood swings of the taraxacum officiale looserius are fairly quick, however, and he is likely to bounce back quickly with yet another "crazy idea" to get saved.

When in doubt, ply with the above-noted semivegan diet, heavy on wheatgrass. Wheatgrass aids in colonic cleansing and will rectify any bad feelings from the taraxacum officiale looserius in short order.

Please leave a comment if the author has missed any pertinent points.